Carpeted kitchens and brain explosions

Today was one of those days where I really badly wished that I had anything but carpet in my kitchen. Anything!

I was shaking my protein shake in a hurry to drop Spencer off at school and pick up Jack's prescription when the lid popped off and that protein shake exploded all over my body and clothes and hair! And all over our orange carpet, and all over the counters and cabinets and into the two open drawers. I laughed for two seconds with Spencer but then somehow that small little protein shake explosion triggered a much larger explosion in my brain. Because I now had to clean up the mess and get in the shower and throw my clothes in the wash. And then I needed to do the dishes and clean our disaster house and speaking of house, I needed to find housing in Alabama and find out when and how we are going to move and OH MY GOSH we are moving in a little over a month!!! And I need to sell stuff and start packing stuff and find new health insurance and what if we can't find jobs in Birmingham?! And what if Spencer's tuition is more expensive than we thought?! And what if we can't actually afford this?! And OH MY GOSH we are moving in a little over a month!!!

Spencer never knows what to do when my brain explosions trigger. Most of the time, he awkwardly and hesitantly pats me on the arm or on the back and says, "Are you okay?" Um, does it look like I'm okay?! And how are YOU okay?! Why aren't YOU stressed out?! This time, he avoided that question for a while and just kindly asked, "Do you need a hug?" To which I quickly responded, "No!! I need you to do the dishes and clean our disaster house and speaking of house, I need you to find housing in Alabama...." And my brain exploded all over again.

I dropped Spencer off and as I drove to Walmart's pharmacy, my scattered brain continued to be scattered. Because here's the thing: I am all for adventures. I just need adventures with a plan. I like knowing the who/what/when/where/how of adventures. But sometimes marriage and motherhood make adventures a little more tricky and a little more out of my control.

I took a deep breath, said a little prayer, then felt that familiar quiet voice:


Since when has your plan and your timing ever worked out? Haven't you learned by now that My plan for you is so much better than your plan for you?


I picked up Spencer from school and once he realized that I had come out of my funk, he told me that even if we were on an all-inclusive relaxing cruise, I would find something to stress out about. I agreed with him.

Tonight, I dropped a bottle of sesame oil that shattered onto the kitchen carpet. I took a deep breath and sopped that oil the best I could out of that darn orange carpet.

And that was the last explosion of the night.