One!!!

I have been counting down the days for David to turn one as if that was the magic number that would suddenly make my life easier and... WE MADE IT!!! He's one!!! It's all coasting from here on out! ;)


I expected the transition from one to two kids to come natural for me, and it totally didn't - I've never felt so exhausted and overwhelmed and anxious as I have in this last year and I think God had a lot he wanted to teach me about grace when he sent David to me - God's grace is sufficient. He helps me with what I can do and does what I cannot. I am doing my best and that is enough through His enabling power.

Last night, I quietly checked on David before I went to bed like I always do. I kissed him, tucked him back in his blankets, whispered my love, and just stared in wonder at my miraculous baby. There is something about an angelic sleeping baby that puts life in perspective - it's been a hard and exhausting year, but also a year of so much love and grace and happiness and joy. Life is good!

I remember holding David for the first time and the excitement that commenced - introducing Jack to his new brother, stressfully trying to keep up with Spencer's phone conversations and gender announcements while simultaneously listening to the nurse's instructions; texting friends and family while nursing and diapering and teaching Jack to be soft and being monitored by nurses and doctors constantly. Then the sun went down, my family went home, the hospital quieted, and for the first time my hospital room was still. It was just me and my baby. I kissed him, snuggled him, stared at him, sang to him, and counted all of his fingers and toes and steady breaths. I prayed for him and thanked God for sending me this brave, baby boy. I told David about this beautiful messy life and he taught me about heaven - and heaven never felt so close.

Happy Birthday David boy! I love you!